Scorpio (October 23 – Nov ember 21): It may be time to convince your parents to look for a new place to live. I’m sure you like your house just fine, but the pest control provision in your lease won’t cover the creepy entities infesting your bedroom closet.Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): There is 100% an axe wielding maniac behind your shower curtain. But don’t fear, he’s just out of shampoo and wants to borrow some of yours. I’m sure you won’t even notice it’s gone.Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): It’s not wise to judge others for being shy and awkward. Remember: no one plots your demise out loud.Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Most nights you find yourself lying awake, trying to think of a nice way to tell your upstairs neighbors to quiet down. But then you remember you live in a one story house.Aries (March 21 – April 19): Don’t look behind you. He’s watching.Pisces (February 19 – March 20): You’re the one who always seems to scream at all the jump scares in the movies. But when you see what’s hidden in your closet, all you can do is bite your tongue.Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Stop cleaning your fridge out, that smell isn’t old lunch meat. But rather something decomposing in your pipes.Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Your little sibling’s babysitter always makes you go to bed right before 11 p.m., yet at midnight you always hear scratching on your door even though you don’t own any pets… I wonder why that is?Cancer (June 21 – July 22): There’s something really creepy going on. You can’t seem to shake that bone chilling feeling. You’re almost certain you saw hands crawling their way up into your sheets last night. But hey, don’t worry, all those hands do is grab you while your sleeping and drag you to the unknown.Leo (July 23 – August 22): Statistically speaking, you are almost always within a 3-foot radius of at least one spider. Look around. If you don’t see a spider, that’s because it’s already on you.Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Invest in some waterproof mascara. You wouldn’t want black lines smeared down your face as your dragged from your bedroom by the demon that lives in the basement.Libra (September 23 – October 22): Curiosity killed the cat. Speaking of cats, they’ve all started to disappear around your neighborhood. Better lock your doors, the cats are only practice.
