The Slater

PLEASE STOP, SNOW.

Meagan Hoffman, Editor-in-Chief

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Picture this: You just rolled over to the side of your bed after a warm slumber. Buzz. The SlaterAthletics Twitter push notification comes through on your screen, but it’s hard to read through groggy, tired eyes. 

“The Bangor Area School District will be CLOSED today.”

Your heart flutters with excitement as you fall softly back into a deep sleep.

DAY ONE

You wake up at 10 a.m., fully rested. Entering the kitchen, you make yourself a wholesome breakfast now that there is plenty of time to actually nourish your body in the morning. While eating scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast with jelly, and fresh sizzling bacon (cause why not treat yourself?), Netflix suggests a new show with fifteen seasons you are thoroughly excited to binge watch. 

Around lunch time the freshly sliced turkey, chopped lettuce, crisp tomato, and savory provolone cheese comes out of the refrigerator. A scrumptious, homemade sandwich really hits the spot instead of the greasy cheese-stuffed breadsticks you would normally be eating at 11:30 in the morning. 

Motivation to get all missing assignments completed starts to kick in. You speed through those 16 calculus worksheets Mrs. Laurito assigned weeks ago, read the 37 chapters of AP Government Mrs. Brown scolded you for not reading, and finally you get to hit that submit button on Schoology. 

Once all of the tedious school work is finished and off your shoulders, now is the perfect time to rewatch Grey’s Anatomy for the 18th time to see if maybe (just maybe) McDreamy won’t (spoilelr alert) perish in a tragic car accident that breaks your heart. Every. Single. Time.

The satisfaction of being well-fed, well-rested, and caught up on school work fills your heart with happiness. You think to yourself, “I wish every day was a snow day,” then make your way to bed.

DAY TWO

When the alarm sounds at precisely 6:30 a.m. you go to turn it off, but see another push notification from SlaterAthletics. School is closed again!

Since the alarm has thoroughly woken you up at the crack of dawn, you find it hard to fall back asleep. Slightly irritated, but still pleased to have another day off, you make your way to the basement to get in shape on the treadmill. 

Today’s the day.

“I’m going to start my diet and exercise plan now that I have all of this time on my hands,” you say as you quickly stop the treadmill after approximately 3 minutes of speed-walking. Out of breath, you start up the stairs thinking about Grey’s Anatomy, the show you’re already hooked on. The couch is calling your name.

Throwing sweatpants on, opening up the laptop, and cuddling a large bowl of popcorn, you are at your peak of the snow day. This is what it’s all about, pure relaxation. Suddenly you find yourself down a rabbit hole, drawn to watching Meredith Grey saving dozens of lives per day in “Grey’s Anatomy.” 

When you finally look up from the now fuzzy screen, you realize it’s dark outside, you haven’t eaten anything all day, and your mom is making dinner already. Where has the day gone? Why do you feel so worthless?

DAY THREE

Your phone vibrates and chimes at 6 o’clock in the morning, but you think to yourself, “It’s too early for my alarm to go off, what could that notification be?” And then it hits you. School is closed. For the third day in a row.

Why?!

Dread fills your body as you wonder what the heck is possibly going to entertain you and fill your time today. Netflix has run out of show suggestions, you have consumed all of the food in your house, and you know you aren’t stepping foot back on that treadmill.

FaceTime calls to friends begin, asking if they can risk their lives driving over to hangout just to end the severe boredom that has set in. To no avail, you are left alone in the cold, boring house. 

In an attempt to kill time, you try to take a long nap, but are so well-rested from your night’s sleep that nothing works. The claustrophobia now begins, beads of sweat drip down your forehead as you wonder if you’ll ever see the outside world again. 

You find yourself just laying on the couch that now has the permanent imprint of your body. Staring at the ceiling, you start to miss going to school.

DAY FOUR

I am writing this in school and I could not be happier.

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PLEASE STOP, SNOW.