BREAKING NEWS: matching prom dresses lead to national outrage possible prom ban

Issue 7, Volume 53

Amelia O'Brien, Editor

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Prom. Dancing, fun, memories, MASS PANIC. Words you never thought would be strung together to describe what was supposed to be the perfect night.

Disaster struck at No’treal High School’s prom after the night took a turn for the worst. As students danced the night away the arrival of two of the dance’s hottest couples harkened the arrival of disaster.

As both couples entered the Lovely Heights Resort simultaneously, the music from DJ Funky Fresh cut out suddenly. Dancing and laughter on the dance floor ceased as all the joy and excitement for the night was instantly sucked out of the room.

Complete silence followed as the couples turned to each other and realized both Sophia Neiderdeppi and Mackenzie Mackanerney were wearing the same dress.

“Despair. Hopelessness. That was all there was. I had, like, tunnel vision and everything was in slow motion,” Neiderdeppi said. “All I could see was Mackenzie wearing my dress.”

As the undeniable sameness of the bright orange mermaid style gowns dawned on the other guests, panic ensued. As the despairing wails of the whole student body filled the venue, a new era came to fruition.

As word of the disaster spread through various social media platforms it reached national news and the battle lines were drawn. Who wore it better?

Mother against daughter, sister against sister. Just as The Dress (blue and black or white sand gold) broke even the bonds of family, this fashion disaster has ripped apart the very bonds of our nation.

This fearful event proves to be devastating to the prom industry as many are afraid to even attend their respective events for fear of twinning. Rumors of potential widespread prom bans emanate from the White House as the terror spreads.

Trump had few words on the topic in his recent press release but what he did say chilled the American populace.

“Although prom is such a necessary important part of our livelihood, the potential of two girls arriving at the same dance in the same dress is too much for our country to handle. There have been thousands of reported cases over the past few years and critics estimate the number of unreported cases could range anywhere from the same to five times the number of reported cases,” President Trump said. “This is huge and congress is considering putting forward a law that would ban prom indefinitely.”

As the very fabric of society begins to rip at its seams we can only hope and pray that the American economy will not crumble under the pressure. Without this vital aspect of our society we can only hope and pray our government and necessary national infrastructure will be able to hold up in these tough times.